It's hard to believe that a year has past since Logan went into the MTC. A year ago, I would have thought that his year mark would be the best day ever and I would be so happy to be half way done. A year ago, I also didn't realize how incredibly long two years actually is. The year mark has been by far the hardest month of Logan's entire mission.
Logan is doing pretty good. We both got hit really hard trying to believe that we had to repeat another year of the hardest sacrifice we've ever made. For a good week, Logan was pretty sure that he would come home that he couldn't do it anymore. Luckily he has an amazing testimony and family and decided to stick it out and I'm really proud of him.
Logan had a rough few months from about August to January because he was in a dead area, with not very much hard work from his companions. He luckily just got transferred to a better area called Selkirk, Manitoba, with a hard working companion, so life is looking up now and I think he'll be lots happier.
Back here in Utah, the waiting has been pretty rough too. There's been lots and lots of pressure to date other boys, but every time I almost fall into peer pressure, I am reminded of my love for Logan, and my promise to him. I also think the spirit has been giving our relationship strength to last through these hard times.
The biggest thing that I think we've both learned through all of this is that we just have to trust in God no matter what. Everyone has trials in life, and they may push us to our limits. No matter how hard they may seem or no matter how much we feel like giving up, Heavenly Father will be there to guide us through it all. And I know Logan and I will be together again someday. We are growing and learning so much through all of this and I know that this will be worth it. So keep Log in your prayers and don't forget to send him an email for his birthday on March 19th!!
So this next part is just a small side note... Lots of people keep asking me how I am doing and they want to understand what it's like to wait. Others like to judge and pretend they know what it's like when they don't and give me a really hard time. Well here is my response to both of those groups. :
We don't always get to choose when love will enter our life. I certainly didn't expect to fall in love at 16 years old. But I did and I have loved every second of it. And when you love someone with all your heart, life with that person becomes the most important thing in the world. You would do anything it takes to make things work and love them and be with them. Life suddenly has meaning and you know that that person is the one you are supposed to be with forever. This is how it was when Logan and I first fell in love. We went through everything with each other by our side growing up, waiting patiently for that day we could finally become a family.
We waited for a long time, growing in love to be old enough to be together forever. We helped each other through life trials, and no matter what we were best friends and there for one another. Finally after three years of dating, we were ready to be engaged and married, but Heavenly Father had other plans for Logan and I. We then knew that we would have to make the greatest sacrifice of our lives: each other. It would have been super easy for Logan to not go on a mission, to stay home and marry me and live happily ever after, but what is easy is not always right. We have always put the gospel first in our relationship, and we weren't about to give that up. So off Logan went, and living without each other hurts us both, but we trust in our heavenly father and know that he knows what is best.
Every day I wake up knowing that I will go the entire day without seeing or talking to my best friend in the entire world. Then I go to sleep knowing that every day will be spent without him for many many more months. I live at a school where people meet and are engaged in the time that it takes me and Logan to write 2 letters back and forth. I see people fall in love before my eyes and they don't even realize how lucky they are to be able to have that person to themselves in a matter of a couple months, when I would give anything to just have one hug, one moment, one loving glance from the boy who I love.
I've gained a huge respect for all the people in the world who lose ones they love, or have to spend time apart. I never realized how empty a day or a month can seem without love in it. So I hope that everyone out there will cherish the memories and happiness of love, and never take it for granted. I am so grateful I have what I have. I'm grateful for the letters I get so often and the ability I have to talk with him. Most of all I am grateful for a Heavenly Father that guides and gives strength.